Late
Hi!
Oh no... oh noooooo..... NOOOOOOOOOO.
I missed the deadline I set for myself! SHIT. It’s been over two weeks since I sent out a newsletter. And only like a month into this! Oh well. Last week I got home from work each night with a headache from staring at my screen all day; I couldn't bring myself to stare at it more, so nothing got typed and nothing got sent. Consider this my Notes App Apology.
I'm awful with deadlines. Was there a single time in school I had an assignment ready more than a few hours before it was due? Don't think so. A kind way of explaining this behavior: I use every minute available to work on X project, thoughtfully shaping it into its best possible self. A straight-shooting way of explaining this behavior: I start two days before I have to hand something in.
My sophomore year of college, I sent a groveling email to a professor begging for an extension on a heavily-weighted paper. I ended the plea with "once again, I'm sorry that I even have to email you about this. This is not the kind of student I am, and it pains me to be presenting myself this way." My senior year, I had an epiphany: actually, this is the kind of student I am! Time after time I'd feel frustrated as I handed in an assignment, telling myself "this essay on ethics in High School Musical 2 would've been so much better if I'd had more time. This isn't the best I can do - I just need more time!" But if a component of an assignment is a deadline, and I've done the best I can do with said deadline, then that's the best I can do, period! I'll never get that bonus time - take me as I am.
(Also, that High School Musical 2 essay is a bad example because it was actually one of the best grades I got at Emerson TV Sleepaway Camp.)
All that said, I'm almost never late to a place I need to be. If people I'm traveling with aren't bogging me down, I'm at the airport an hour before boarding, at the movie ten minutes before the first preview, and at the concert for the opener's full set. I hate missing out on things. I'm terrified of getting shut out of a venue; the stress of missing a flight would give me shingles again. Most of all, I can't stand the thought of making anyone wait for me. Oh and I'm traumatized from a childhood experience where I got to a movie during a scary preview and had to walk to the front row to find a seat.
A few things I'm comfortable being a little bit late to: work, AP Spanish class, first dates so I don't get there first and have to look composed and interesting while I wait, meeting up with a friend who I know will be there even later.
Picture me fighting with my mom because we're late to the DMV on the day of my driver's license road test. Picture me running ahead of my friends at the Hollywood ArcLight because I can't risk missing a second of A Star is Born. And of course, picture me late to my first concert, Z100's Jingle Ball 2009, walking in as new artist Ke$ha performs her only released song, "TiK ToK," a song to which my friend and I have choreographed a dance I can perform to this day.
Isn't it tragic that "Tik ToK" has been completely eclipsed by TikTok?
SOME DISCONNECTED THOUGHTS ON LATE
I love my body because it knows not to sleep through my alarm.
I know I should feel exclusively grateful when I rush somewhere and I'm not late after all, but I mostly feel sweaty and frazzled.
It takes longer to boil water than it should.
I don't menstruate so I've never had a late period - an experience I would handle exceptionally poorly.
I'm not sure what my due date was! I believe I was roughly on time.
The movie Late Night was fun! It should've done better!
I don't like the Kacey Musgraves lyric "born in a hurry, always late, haven't been early since '88." It gives me whiplash.
Seth Meyers could do pretty much anything to me. Staple my fingers together if it gets you off, Seth!
My Scoutmaster always said "early is on time, on time is late, late is unacceptable." I also heard this in an episode of As Told By Ginger.
I have had the sentence "the early bird catches the worm - or in this case, the Pokemon" stuck in my head since 2000.
I felt late to any and all bases.
Scrabble/Boggle words: LATE, TEAL, and TALE (not LEAT, unfortunately)
Some questions about lateness for you (reflect on your own or email me back):
-When you text someone "running late, be there in ___," how many minutes do you lie and shave off?
-What's the worst thing you've been late to? Are you still suffering the consequences?
-Would you be an entertaining late night guest? Whose show would you go on?
-If you could hang out with Leighton Meester, what would you do together?
-What's your favorite late night food?
-Complete the phrase: "the late great ___"
-Do you identify as a late bloomer? If so, are you aware of the Fiona Apple song "Valentine" and its lyric "I'm a tulip in a cup / I stand no chance of growing up" and does that absolutely gut you?
-What would you do with your life if you could be an hour late to work every day?
-You and I make plans to catch up - let's grab coffee at Republic of Pie. Who gets there first?
Hope you have a great week! Byeeee
[Originally published on TinyLetter]