Plz stream "deja vu" by Olivia Rodrigo

Hi!

Let’s get right to it: in my last newsletter I predicted Hilary Duff would give birth on 03/24/21, and on 3/24/21 Hilary Duff gave birth. I was right. If you’d like to send me flowers, I’ll message you my address; if you’re worried I’ve let this proof of psychic power go to my head, my roommate Mollie already humbled me by responding “well, you guessed twice.” Yes, but guessing twice doesn’t negate the fact that I was right the second time! I feel like guessing three times means nothing, but two times is still kind of cool. Yeah, two guesses is impressive, and in the next 5,000 words I will further explain why. It’s because

Jk jk. But I do have another prediction to make: Olivia Rodrigo is about to be famous for the long haul. A vision almost like a prophecy came to me while watching the music video for her new single “deja vu.” As she cavorted about in a frilly green dress, I said in a soft, awe-struck voice, “she has it.” Mark my words: Olivia’s a star in the making and she’s here to stay.

“WHO IS OLIVIA RODRIGO?” A RUDIMENTARY EXPLAINER FOR MY MOM

Olivia Rodrigo is a teen actress on the precipice of her obligatory actress-hyphen-pop star career phase. She cut her baby teeth on the Disney Channel show Bizaardvark, but I know her from her lead role on Disney+’s High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. Her first single, “drivers license,” debuted to record-breaking success earlier this year. “drivers license” is Drama because it’s about her ex-boyfriend/co-star Joshua Bassett; now those two and Josh’s new girlfriend Sabrina Carpenter are embroiled in moderate public beef. That’s pretty much all you need to know – should I work for The Daily? 

Another question: did people watch High School Musical: The Musical: The Series? It’s unclear to me if a) this show is popular and b) if so with who. What I do know is that I watched it as it aired, loved it, and actually wrote a spec script of it last summer. The show is gorgeous state-sponsored propaganda for the HSM film franchise, as well as the under-appreciated stage show High School Musical. I share HSM:TM:TS’s reverence for its source material, and I wish more people knew the fun fact that High School Musical: The Musical: The Series is also the name of Fiona Apple’s fourth studio album!

(A brief aside re: the stage show High School Musical. If you’re unfamiliar with it, I recommend experiencing two of its original songs. “Counting on You” features the gem of a lyric “and put away that dream, ‘cuz there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team,’” and “I Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” (also a bonus track on the HSM soundtrack) is waaaaay hornier than “Breaking Free.”)

OK BACK TO OLIVIA

When “drivers license” debuted at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, I felt a slightly-possessive pride over Olivia’s success. I knew her first! Or at least earlier than some. It’s probably how you felt when you saw that I had correctly predicted Hilary Duff’s labor date.

Olivia’s follow-up single “deja vu” dropped two weeks ago, and I had a crazed moment before listening to it when I wondered: is this going to be a cover of Beyoncé’s “Deja Vu”? I don’t believe Olivia has the range, but I would’ve liked to hear her try. Plus she’s previously covered “River,” so she certainly has the audacity to go for something like that.

No, “deja vu” is an OR original. And I love this song. Take 3:35 minutes to listen to it and then come back so I don’t have to waste time describing it.

Welcome back. So good, right?? I’m obsessed with this song for a whole host of reasons, but I can boil it down to a single lyric: “Watching reruns of Glee, being annoying.” The bravery to invoke Glee in a pop song 12 years after it premiered! The self-awareness to acknowledge that anything Glee-affiliated is fundamentally annoying! The chaos magic of being six years old when the Glee pilot aired! I am floored, flabbergasted, gagged. I must stan.

I STAN OLIVIA RODRIGO, AN 18-YEAR-OLD

Here’s the deal: the one-two punch of High School Musical and Glee was the culture that made me say culture is for me, and Olivia Rodrigo is out here insisting we talk about both in 2021. I must stan. Is it chill for me to stan a recent child? I will be in my thirties before she can legally drink. Just like with HSM:TM:TS, I’m not sure how widespread her popularity is and if I (mid-twenties white cis gay man in clear Warby Parker frames) am part of the target audience. I’m now realizing my finger is completely off the pulse of Youth Culture. Like, do 20-year-olds nostalgically rewatch Bizaardvark, a show I had never heard of? I have… no clue.

Here’s another very “how do you do, fellow kids?” question: do singer fandoms still have names like Swifties, or are they just “___ stans” now? If the former is the case, I’d like to pitch some options for Olivia Rodrigo’s stan army name:

• Olivi-ers

• Rodrigirls

• Liv Laugh Lovers

• Hot Rods

• Strawberries (in reference to her favorite ice cream flavor/a lyric in “deja vu” – I think this would be a horrible, non-sensical name, but sometimes that’s exactly what sticks)

• OR-GYNs

OK BACK TO DEJA VU

I got hooked on “drivers license” because I had no choice. It was all over the radio, my phone, pretty catchy… I got on board, and after a few weeks I moved on. “deja vu” is different. I can’t get over it, and I don’t want to. The way it tricks you into thinking she’s singing about her experiences, but then REVEAL it’s about the other girl, but REVEAL it’s the same shit she was doing!! How it builds and builds until the bitter end, at which point I am fully moshing in my Prius. The next time I order ice cream, I will almost definitely get strawberry, a flavor I have never liked. And I bet it’ll hit the spot! Also: is there such thing as a bad song about Malibu? I think not (cc: Kim Petras and Miley Cyrus). 

The success of “drivers license” paired with the excellence of “deja vu” is proof enough for me that Olivia will go the distance. In fact, here’s a mockup of what I think her performance at the 2022 Grammys will look like:

Can’t wait!

DRIVERS LICENSE

I started a new job two weeks ago working at a vaccine site. Maybe I’m burying the lede by only mentioning this life update anecdotally as it relates to Olivia Rodrigo, but I really don’t want to get fired for a HIPAA violation, so I’m airing on the side of caution vis-à-vis writing on the internet about the job. (I was unemployed for a full year and would be pissed to lose my job because I chose to gossip about it in my um free newsletter). Anyway, I think it’s common sense/knowledge that part of my job entails checking photo IDs, a category that famously includes driver’s licenses. Now that LA is opening vaccine appointments to anyone 16 or older, I have to consider the possibility that Olivia Rodrigo could show up to my workplace and hand me her driver’s license to verify her identity. THE driver’s license. America’s driver’s license. It’s not completely implausible that I could hold in my grubby paws the only wallet-sized rectangle more coveted than a CDC vaccine record card. If that happens, I’ll have to make a dumb joke about it to her, right? And if I make that joke and she reacts to it in any way, I won’t be allowed to tell anyone. And if I say fuck it and do tell people, the story will sound like a lie. And now I sound like I’m writing a sequel to If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. Out in print this fall: If You Give A Stan A Banger by David Carliner. Liv I’ll hook you up with an advanced copy, k?