Save the Cheerio, save the world
Glee x Heroes
Hi!
Why isn’t anyone talking about how many Glee cast members guest-starred on Heroes? Oh, because it’s 2025? Right, right… Okay, see ya!
But seriously: 4 out of 16 characters we meet in the Glee pilot pop up in the first 24 episodes of Heroes. I crunched the numbers, and that’s gonna go ahead and be 25%, babe! Were people talking about this 15 years ago? All I could find when I Googled “Glee Heroes” was the Glee version of “Heroes” by David Bowie. Well, I’m talking screlting about it now. 🗣️ Dianna 🗣️ Agron 🗣️ plays 🗣️ a 🗣️ bitchy 🗣️ cheer 🗣️ captain 🗣️ on 🗣️ both 🗣️ shows!!!
Season one of Heroes is all about the ripple effect of our actions. Can saving a Texas cheerleader from a homecoming killer prevent a nuclear bomb from wiping out New York City? When a seer paints the future, is his vision on the canvas in permanent ink? If a butterfly flaps its wings, how many red string maps and/or timelines does it disrupt? And how long did it take the Heroes art team to make those?
I’ve been feverishly pinning up some red string of my own regarding the Glee x Heroes casting phenomenon. The Heroes finale aired on February 8, 2010, smack dab in the middle of Glee season one. If any of those guest star roles had become series regulars, the actors would’ve surely missed the William McKinley school bus, changing their lives — and the course of human history — irrevocably. But how?
Here’s what I think would’ve happened.
TIMELINE 1: IF DIANNA AGRON MISSED PLAYING QUINN FABRAY TO KEEP PLAYING DEBBIE MARSHALL
Heroes wraps filming just in time for Dianna to play Gwen Stacy in the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man. In Our Timeline (“OT”), Dianna lost the role to Emma Stone in part because of her Glee commitments: Deadline reported, “Agron just tested last night, though there are questions of availability because she is such a major part of a hit TV show.” In this timeline (“T1”), not only is she available, but her stint on Heroes increases her star meter. She books.
Spider-Man cements Dianna as a Hollywood leading lady, and she enjoys a more lucrative career than in OT (no offense, Sam Smith). Other Emma Stone scripts land in her lap, and when the La La Land casting team comes knocking… I mean, have you heard “I Say A Little Prayer (Glee Version)”? She books again, and soon enough becomes Academy Award nominee Dianna Agron.
But that’s not winner Dianna Agron. Unlike Emma in OT, La La Land is her first nomination, and the Academy opts to award a veteran: the Oscar goes to Natalie Portman for Jackie. Backstage, PricewaterhouseCoopers’ accountant Brian Cullinan resists the urge to tweet — he’s more of an Emma Stoner than a Natalie Port-fan — and the Best Picture envelope is handed off without a hitch. Moonlight gets announced as the winner, Barry Jenkins gets to give his speech, and The Slap gets to be the Oscar moment of the 21st century instead of just its decade.
TIMELINE 2: IF JAYMA MAYS MISSED PLAYING EMMA PILLSBURY TO KEEP PLAYING CHARLIE ANDREWS
Summer 2010: Jayma Mays reunites with her Red Eye director Wes Craven to film Scream 4. She gets Kristen Bell’s part — they could’ve both been in it, but with Hayden Panettiere also in the cast, that’s too many Heroes stars. Kristen doesn’t mind; with her schedule open, she and her new fiancée Dax Shepard can go on an extended European vacation. That just means someone else from Gossip Girl will have to present Choice Summer Movie: Drama with Ed Westwick at the Teen Choice Awards.
Blake Lively agrees to do it. She’s a nominee, her Green Lantern co-star/crush Ryan Reynolds is nominated for The Proposal… Why not?
In OT, Sandra Bullock wins a surfboard for The Blind Side and does a bit with Betty White.
In T2, Blake has Ryan introduce her to his The Proposal co-stars Sandra and Betty before the show. They’re all so busy gabbing that Betty misses some crucial blocking information, and later during the ceremony she stands in the wrong spot and takes a tumble off the stage. Betty White dies. :(
Her tragically-early death at 88 has too many consequences to list, but a choice few:
Blake Lively is so traumatized from the experience that she can’t even look at Ryan Reynolds; they do not get together, and Ryan stays with his wife Scarlett Johansson.
Without his marriage to ScarJo, Colin Jost is not a big enough name to host Pop Culture Jeopardy! It goes to Keke Palmer.
Without kid name inspo from Blake and Ryan, Taylor Swift does not finish folklore in time for Grammy eligibility. Women in Music Pt. III by HAIM wins Album of the Year.
Sandra Bullock’s estranged husband Jesse James comes back into the picture to support her as she grieves Betty White. He’s able to make amends for his cheating scandal, they reconcile, and the couple is stronger than ever today.
TIMELINE 3: IF JESSALYN GILSIG MISSED PLAYING TERRI SCHUESTER TO KEEP PLAYING CLAIRE’S BIRTH MOM
Busy Philipps lands the role of Terri after all.
This leads to a life swap situation where her bestie Michelle Williams trades husbands/Ryan Murphy roles with Gwyneth Paltrow. Michelle is pulled into Ryan’s orbit earlier, he casts her as substitute teacher Holly Holliday, and just like Gwyneth, she meets co-creator Brad Falchuk on set and falls for him. Gwyneth gets to do Fosse/Verdon and meet/fall for director Tommy Kail. “Forget You (Glee Version)” isn’t as good, but somehow this all leads to Girls5eva lasting longer, so things are about even.
TIMELINE 4: IF STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY MISSED PLAYING SANDY RYERSON TO KEEP PLAYING BOB BISHOP
Without Stephen in the picture, the Glee team doesn’t find what they’re looking for during casting — so they go in a new direction. Co-creator Ian Brennan rewrites the role of the glee club’s disgraced former director for himself. It makes sense: Ian based Glee on his high school show choir experience, so why shouldn’t he get to perform? Sandy quickly becomes a fan favorite character who is elevated to a more central role (think Dean on Community), and Ian is one of the cast members who appear in the 2010 Emmys opening number.
During rehearsals and the pre-tape, Ian meets Jon Rineman, a Late Night writer working on the Emmys while his boss Jimmy Fallon hosts the ceremony. They hit it off, and by the end of the their time together, Ian (who’s still a writer-producer with a lot of power, thank you very much) offers Jon a staff writing position on Glee season two. Jon accepts and leaves the NYC late night writing world behind.
As a result, Jon does not write for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner with Seth Meyers the next year. He does not write the joke that is credited as the reason Donald Trump ran for president, so Donald Trump does not run for president.
Comparing T4 to OT, I have no choice but to reference Community twice within 150 words:
There may be more Glee stars in store for me on my Heroes watch, but that’s all I’ve seen so far.1 Still, there’s one more timeline to discuss, and it’s the most personally significant. T1-T4 are all considered in isolation, i.e. what if this one Glee star remained on Heroes, but the other three did Glee. But what if… all four Glee stars remained on Heroes?? How would those intersecting timelines affect each other?
Well…
TIMELINE 5: ALL FOUR GLEE STARS REMAIN ON HEROES
Because of Jayma Mays in T2, Betty White dies at the Teen Choice Awards on August 8, 2010 — mere weeks before the Emmy Awards where she would’ve made a cameo in the Glee x Jimmy Fallon opening number. The TV legend’s death leaves the Emmy writers feeling far from gleeful, and unable to come up with a good replacement for her, they decide to scrap the number entirely. Ian Brennan (who because of Stephen Tobolowsky in T4 is on Glee) and Jon Rineman don’t get the requisite face time to merit a job offer, so Jon stays in New York and writes for the WHCD. Just like in OT, Donald Trump is elected president.
Because of Jessalyn Gilsig in T3, Michelle Williams and Brad Falchuk become a couple in the early 2010’s. She brings him as her date to the 2017 Oscars (instead of Terri Schuester Busy Philipps!), where he meets Oscar nominee Dianna Agron. They haven’t crossed paths in T5, but a combination of her T1 star status and whatever he saw in her in OT leads to him connecting her with Ryan Murphy. Dianna stars in a season of American Horror Story.
Because of Jessalyn Gilsig in T3, Gwyneth Paltrow and Tommy Kail become a couple in the early 2010’s. (Michelle and Tommy don’t meet on Fosse/Verdon in OT until 2018, but it happens earlier in this timeline — it’s a universe-balancing-itself-out kind of thing.) When Tommy and the rest of the Hamilton creative team are honored at the Kennedy Center on December 2, 2018, Ms. Goop is there. In fact, she performs in the ceremony as King George III! She makes a self-referential joke that “maybe TV show hosts shouldn’t be world leaders” – oh yeah, G.P. hosts Pop Culture Jeopardy! in this timeline.
The joke is also an obvious jab at Donald Trump, who for the second year of his presidency has snubbed the Kennedy Center Honors. The joke goes viral, and from the moment Trump hears about it the next day, he does not stop ranting about Gwyneth Paltrow. The timing is bad: December 3, 2018 is the beginning of the three-day state funeral for President George H. W. Bush, and Trump’s antics cause a bereaved Jenna Bush Hager to absolutely ream his ass from the pulpit of her grandfather’s funeral. This becomes a weeks-long international news story.
The Jenna Bush Hager thing catches Ryan Murphy’s attention. He’s been interested in doing a TV show about an American president and was leaning towards Bill Clinton’s impeachment scandal, but JBH draws his eye to the Bushes. There’s plenty to dig into with that family, and Jenna could be the Emmy-winning role he’s been promising Dianna Agron… The Untitled Bush Project enters development.
Jump to September 2019. Just like in OT, I, David Carliner, attend the Creative Arts Emmys with the An Emmy For Megan team. It’s the best I’ve ever looked in any timeline.
We lose to Chris O’Dowd and his show State of the Union, and my boss Dave gives him grief about it when we run into him at the after party.
I don’t remember who Chris O’Dowd brought as his plus-one in OT, but in T5, he’s there with his wife: JAYMA MAYS.
Back in 2010, Jayma’s T2 career is in the sweet spot for her to nab fellow-notable-redhead Ellie Kemper’s Bridesmaids role. Jayma and co-star Chris O’Dowd fall in love, and in 2019, I am gagged to see them at the Emmys; Bridesmaids is my favorite movie, and seeing them together compels me to say hi in a way that Chris on his own doesn’t in OT. We strike up a friendly conversation — it helps that I look the best I’ve ever looked in any timeline — and I wind up mentioning that I’m about to wrap on my first writers’ assistant job. “Wow, that’s kismet,” Jayma says. “I was just talking to a showrunner friend who needs some support staff.” Her friend? JESSALYN GILSIG.
Jessalyn and Jayma become close friends working on seasons 1-4 of Heroes. When the show wraps, Jessalyn realizes she’s tired of acting and wants to write instead. She reconnects with her Nip/Tuck boss Ryan Murphy, who takes a chance on her and hires her as a staff writer on Glee (she had a really strong sample, you guys! Stay with me!). Jessalyn works her way up the ladder at Glee and becomes a frequent Ryan Murphy collaborator; when he needs a showrunner for the Untitled Bush Project, she is his first call.
October 2019: hot off my stint on the Adult Swim series Beef House, I land the UBP job. It’s shooting in New York and DC, but because I’m originally from New Jersey, I can make it work. When I go home for the holidays that year, I stay on the east coast for the job. I end up there for much longer than expected — when COVID-19 shuts us down in March, I’m stuck at my mom’s place for the rest of 2020. The Untitled Bush Project becomes a casualty of the pandemic, and Dianna Agron remains Oscar and Emmy-less.
Because I’m not in LA March 2020, my T5 diverges from OT. I do not sleep at Kyle’s place March 16, so my Volkswagen Jetta isn’t parked on his street overnight and subsequently isn’t totaled by a reckless driver crashing into it. This means that when I’m back in LA January 16, 2023 and my car hydroplanes on a freeway on-ramp, I’m in the Jetta, not the Toyota Prius I would’ve replaced it with. The subtle differences in tire tread, car weight, and steering mechanisms between the two cars makes a huge difference. Instead of spinning into a ditch like in the Prius, I’m able to right myself on the ramp in the Jetta… but not able to brake fast enough to avoid hitting the car that hydroplaned and stopped a few yards further.
Because of the differences in Heroes and Glee casting, I crash into that car and go careening off the elevated on-ramp. Moments later, I am dead.
And the driver of that car in front of me?
T4 Stephen Tobolowsky.
Need a visual aid?
That’s not completely true — I actually just saw Ivonne Coll in S2 E2, but she’s only in one episode of Heroes and three of Glee, so I don’t think much would’ve changed. Feel free to propose your own alt timeline for her, I would literally love nothing more.
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